Dear Hollywood, Please Don’t “Cumberbatch” Chris Pratt

Everyone loves Chris Pratt. How could you not? You have to. I’m pretty sure it’s in the Constitution. He has brought a lovable energy to the character of Andy Dwyer on Parks & Recreation, and he blew away all expectations with his performance as Peter “Star Lord” Quill in last year’s Guardians of the Galaxy. Dude’s riding high, and he deserves it.

However. Now he’s ramping up his operation. He’s in the new Jurassic Park, which I found surprising. I mean, I was surprised at first. It took a whole 3 seconds before the cynical part of me thought, “well sure, Guardians just did really well.” He’s also signed on to a movie adaptation of Cowboy Ninja Viking. There is talk of him joining the cast of a new Magnificent Seven film. And now, and this is the kicker, Disney is eyeing Mr. Pratt for the lead role in an Indiana Jones reboot.

Chris Pratt Jurassic Park Reboot

Did you forget that Disney owns Lucasfilm now? We all did. We all want to forget.

Point is: as awesome as Chris Pratt is, he is now in danger of slowly becoming our Benedict Cumberbatch. (By the way, yeah, that’s a name you know. Think about that the next time you can’t remember why we fought the American Revolution.) You know, he’s the guy you were really impressed by three and a half years ago. It all started with Sherlock. And don’t get me started on Sherlock. Now he’s everywhere. Peter Jackson just paid him a jillion dollars to roll around on the floor in spandex pretending he was a dragon. Twice.

I don’t mean to decry Mr. Cumberbatch’s talents or abilities. I merely wish to use him as an example of an actor I used to like quite a bit, but have since grown tired of. Seeing his face and hearing his name now produce a repulsive effect in my brain. I don’t want that for Chris Pratt. I love Chris Pratt.

So please, Hollywood, take your eyes off of easy cash grabs for a moment…wait. That’s a lost cause.

Mr. Pratt! Chris! If you’re reading this, please PLEASE open your eyes. Don’t let them Cumberbatch you. Be picky with your projects. Don’t constantly stick with us like the gum we swallowed in high school. Grow with us over time. Age your talent and time in the spotlight well. Like a fine cheese. Or Meryl Streep.

That said, if anyone offered me the chance to be Indy, I’d take it in a heartbeat. So, what the hell! If you want it, go for it!

(Why am I still speaking to Chris Pratt? He’s not reading.)

(Also welcome back, readers! First post of the semester! If I seem rusty, it’s because I am.)

— Mike Egan, Film Blogger